Fast forward many years to the miracle of marrying my incredible husband and having two beautiful biological sons. When Bryan and I decided to have a child, we knew our lives would be forever changed…but we never could even imagine how our hearts could so completely transform into these gobs of mush at the sight of our first child…and the pain our hearts could feel when we learned our little guy was sick and would need doctor’s care and surgery to be healthy someday. My heart literally exploded with love when my both our children were born. I had never before known how deep love can run until I saw them and held them close in my arms…. and then saw their big strong father holding them in his ever so gentle embrace. My feelings of awe and of thankfulness toward our Heavenly Father all came together at that moment and all I could think was how blessed I was that He so lovingly gave me these beautiful boys to call my own here on earth. At that moment…the moment of the miracle of each child’s birth, I understood His incomparable magnificence better than I ever had before. It was that love that Christ gave to me for my biological children that in turn made my heart ache even more for those who didn’t have a mommy to call their own.
The story continues about 3 ½ years later when close friends of ours began the journey of adopting a little girl from China. Their story was a motivation to us as we watched the miracle of adoption take place. I watched and listened and tried to be there as this family went through all the ups and downs of the adoption process. Then the day came of the referral! What a miracle it truly was….the moment I saw this little girl’s photo, I knew that she had been handpicked to be a part of that family! As my friend traveled, I cried almost daily reading each of her blog entries that told the story of finally getting to hold her daughter in her arms and tell her how much she loved her. I cried in the airport as I saw her daddy get tears in his eyes and completely melt as he held his daughter for the first time. And since then? There haven’t been anymore tears…only celebration for this child and this family! A little girl who has flourished beyond words…whose little eyes sparkle just like the princess she is….A princess to the one and only King! There is no sign of a little orphan girl, but rather a complete transformation to a child absolutely cherished and forever loved.
As time passed, Bryan and I talked a little here and there about the possibility of us adopting a little girl. He was concerned about finances and wanted to be sure that we could embark on this journey without putting our family at risk. He worried about all the things a good father worries about. But, God moved in our lives and provided the finances, calmed the worries in Bryan’s heart, and guided all of us to a place of knowing that our family was not yet complete, but through adoption He would complete our family.
In November of 2008 we officially decided that Bulgaria was where God would have our little girl waiting for us. In January of 2009 we decided on All God’s Children International as our adoption agency and in February of 2009 we completed a pre-application. That step took a little longer than expected because I had to get letters written from my doctors regarding a couple of health issues I have. But, we finished that and then sent in our official application on March 8, 2009. The timeline has progressed as follows:
- March 8, 2009 - Application to All God’s Children International
- April 16, 2009 - Completed Orientation phone call
- April 23, 2009 - Signed, notarized, and sent in contract paperwork with payment
- June 10, 2009 - Completed Education (Amen!)
- June 13, 2009 - Last home study visit
- June 27, 2009 - Home study rough draft complete and sent to AGCI for revision
So, as every day passes I feel this sense of urgency that seems to grow and intensify. Maybe it is because each day brings us a little closer and makes it all seem a little more tangible. And maybe it is because I know now that our little Selah (our name we have picked out for her) has been born somewhere in Bulgaria. I know that she is alive, but that she doesn’t know that we are here waiting for the day that we can wrap our arms around her and love her forever. We pray for her every day…we pray that the Lord comforts her and fills her with a peace and joy that can come from only Him and an unnatural assurance that she, too, will have a forever family. We pray that whoever is caring for her right now handles her with gentleness and love and tries to the best of their ability to meet her needs. We pray that her birth mother loves her with all that she has and finds comfort from the Lord in the midst of her decision to bring her child to an orphanage. Please join us in these prayers as we wait for the day we can bring our Selah home.