Sunday, January 24, 2010

Not Us....

Our news was not what we wanted to hear. The little girl with whom we had all given our hearts was given to another family....

I praise God that her life will still begin anew and she will be loved and cherished, but it would be a lie to say that my heart is not broken.

I don't understand why God made my heart respond to her in such a way and allowed me to fall so in love with her. I don't understand how our family, even our little guys, could just see her as the perfect fit. I don't know why it felt so completely right. But, for some reason the MOJ decided on another family and I have to believe God's hand was in that and that He was doing what was best for her and for us. He sees the bigger picture and I am thankful to Him for that, but it has left an ache in my heart...a big one. I don't like this side to the emotional rollercoaster of adoption.

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Exciting News!

The Lord once again shook up my little version of how things would happen and showed me that I am sooooo not in control of His plan....because...that is exactly's His plan, not mine!!!

Well, the other day I opened up an email that had waiting children listed in it, and opened a photo that made my heart pound, my hands shake, and my tears fall! I seriously got so warm I thought I might pass out...yes, I know, just a bit unstable :-)

So, after much discussion and prayer, we have decided to apply to adopt this little girl! Hopefully we will find out Friday if she will be ours! I am trying desperately to guard my heart and be ready to accept God's will if we don't get her, but oh how I would appreciate your prayers for this little girl, for our hearts, and for God's Hand to be guiding the direction of the MOJ!

I'll keep you posted!

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.  Hebrews 10:36