It is actually only ten more days until we travel, but "Gotcha' Day" is twelve more. So, ten days to get as much nesting accomplished as possible! I've been keeping very busy with checking off my "to-dos" on my looooooong list. It has been a bit tough, though, because we have a year-round school schedule so my boys are on their second week of spring break. They go back to school next Tuesday. I've been trying my best to simply enjoy them because I know that life will be very different in just a couple of weeks!
Tonight I called Selah. If I call at midnight, it is 10:00 am there. It is one of the timeframes that works well for the director and caretakers. Usually we call in the mornings, but my husband couldn't make the call with me in the morning, so I called on my own tonight while he was sleeping.
At first the call went very well. Selah was so happy and so full of giggles and "Mommy mommy, mommy"! I've learned enough Bulgaria to understand that she was now potty trained...YES!!! Happy Dance for that one!! She also seemed to understand that I was coming on an airplane, too, so I feel that they are really trying to help her be prepared for our arrival and all that will follow. I was smiling big and feeling great that it was such a good conversation, but then, all of a sudden, my sweet little girl started crying hysterically...truly hyserically. I kept saying anything I could think of like... "it's okay" and "don't cry" and "are you okay?' ...the only things I could spit out in Bulgarian.It went on for what seemed like an eternity while her caretaker kept repeating "don't cry" and "be quiet"....then they hung up. Ugh. My heart broke and my stomach was immediately tied in knots. Now what?
But here is the amazing thing. Just prior to my call, I was reading one of my daily devotions I get in my inbox. This one was from Proverbs 31 Ministries and was called "When I'm Not There, God Is". It is a discussion of the struggles we have as moms with worrying about our children when they are not in our care. The scripture that went with it was
"For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways."
Psalm 91:11 (NIV)
As I read the devotion, I had immediately connected it to all my children and especially to Selah. I thought "Thank You, God, for that reassurance" and went to make the telephone call. Can you believe how good He was to me? That was the exact word I needed to not become an emotional wreck once again after that phone call!
My very close friend used to have great fun teasing me by claiming that God was always so gentle with me! Not long ago, though, she admitted He hadn't been quite as gentle over the last couple of years. But, just over the last couple of weeks, I have once again begun to feel His gentleness surrounding me. It has been as if He knew I needed a little something extra to remind me of His promises and to hold on to His Word...His truth. Tonight, it felt as though it were Him telling me that it is going to be okay. I may not be with Selah yet, but even in the midst of her tears and in the moments when I ache to wipe her tears away and hug her until she smiles once again....He is with her and He will protect her and care for her. Just as His Word says, He is commanding His angels to guard my sweet Selah in all her ways!
I will close with the prayer written at the end of the devotion (written by Glynnis Whitwer):
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for caring for my children even more than I do. Thank You for hearing my prayers, and for protecting my children. Help me to learn to trust You more, and to pray more about even the smallest details of their lives. I want to be a woman and mom who trusts You, the true source of all help. In Jesus' Name, Amen.