Sunday, January 24, 2010

Not Us....

Our news was not what we wanted to hear. The little girl with whom we had all given our hearts was given to another family....

I praise God that her life will still begin anew and she will be loved and cherished, but it would be a lie to say that my heart is not broken.

I don't understand why God made my heart respond to her in such a way and allowed me to fall so in love with her. I don't understand how our family, even our little guys, could just see her as the perfect fit. I don't know why it felt so completely right. But, for some reason the MOJ decided on another family and I have to believe God's hand was in that and that He was doing what was best for her and for us. He sees the bigger picture and I am thankful to Him for that, but it has left an ache in my heart...a big one. I don't like this side to the emotional rollercoaster of adoption.

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9


  1. I'm so sorry Lori! But I can't wait to see the little one He chooses for your family...keep your hearts wide open:)!

  2. Oh, Lori, I am so sorry! We have lost three children during our adoption process (two little girls to other families and a little boy whose birthmother withdrew consent for adoption) and it has been heartbreaking every time. As you have said, your heart rejoices that they will be loved and cherished, but it aches knowing that YOU will never have the opportunity to love and cherish them. I wish I could reach through my computer and wrap my arms around you right now, because I know the devatstation that you are feeling!

    One thing I can promise you is that you WILL find the little girl that God has prepared for your family! Despite all of the ups and down that our family has experienced, we finally received the official referrals of the two sweet little girls on Friday and I know that they are the children that God had prepared for our family from the beginning. And, in getting to this point, He has also helped us to see the purpose of each of the children that we "lost" along the way. You will find your daughter! Of that, I have no doubt!

    Prayers for your peace during this difficult time. And if you need to talk to someone who has been where you are, please don't hesitate to contact me (


  3. I am so sorry for your loss -Know that in time you will find your new son or daughter- In the end everything will work out and you will have a new child to love, and another orphan will have a mother and father to love them. Was the other family chosen by the MOJ only because they are further along in the process/Paperwork?