Thursday, October 14, 2010

Keeping My Eyes on the Lord

Emotions. Emotions. And MORE emotions.

This wait is so stinkin' hard. There are days I want to curl up under the covers and cry...and days I want to therapeutically shop until I drop. There are also the days when I want to scream at someone...anyone will do. The other night I was driving up north in a mountainous region and had one bad mishap that involved a flat tire and then not 10 miles after finally getting back on the road, a police officer pulled me over! I guess I had been going a little too fast, but he never even got the opportunity to tell me how fast I was going! That was because I burst into voracious tears immediately and could say nothing more than to squeak out that it had been a horrible week. It was seriously ALL I COULD DO to not tell this poor man about our little girl waiting for us halfway around the world and our paperwork being majorly delayed! Can you just imagine him thinking "oh, boy, what have I just gotten myself into?'. Can you believe that in the midst of this chaos, God sent me this kind and compassionate officer who only looked at me for a second and then felt compelled to spend the rest of his time trying to calm me down and reassure me that he wouldn't be giving me a ticket?!!! Soooooo,  in the midst of each of my chaotic emotions, I keep reminding myself to keep my eyes on the Lord and claim His promises for our family.

Over the last few days, I have been reading Isaiah and God has spoken to me so clearly from there and has gently reminded me where to keep my focus. You see, we have not yet received our NBC approval. The short story is that it began with our original home study parameters saying we wanted to adopt a child between the ages of 0 and 3. Well, our Selah is 4. So, the officer handling our paperwork said we had to submit an addendum from our social worker stating that we are approved for a 4-year-old child. We took care of that and I fed-exed everything there only to have it sit in the Texas office for 2 1/2 weeks before it was sent to our officer in Missouri. THEN, our officer decided that the addendum was not sufficient, but that we needed to have a home visit AND our state CPS checks redone. We are hoping for this to all be in the hands of the officer next week and then I pray approved immediately.

I just couldn't believe that we would have all these issues on this side of the paperwork. I expected glitches...but later, once the paperwork was in Bulgaria. Maybe now that we have already provided brand new copies of practically everything, all the other various offices, people, and judges that will be looking at our paperwork will not find anything to question or request. Maybe? Hopefully?

So, back to Isaiah. In Isaiah 54, God tells me that "No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper". Satan loves to mess with all things that are good. I recently read that marriage and adoption are the two most powerful covenants we make to honor God. Because these two covenants are so powerful, Satan works overtime to try to destroy them. As we travel along this journey of adoption, we all know how gut-wrenchingly painful things can be. I wonder how many people have either not taken the journey or have walked away from it because of the attacks of our enemy. 

But God. Our amazing, powerful, loving, and ever faithful God! He tells us that
  • He will not allow any weapons from the enemy to prosper against us.
  • He will open doors before us, so that gates will not be shut.
  • He will go before us and level the mountains
  • He will contend with them who contend  with us, and He will give safety to our children and ease them.
  • He will go before us and also be our rear guard.
  • His word never returns void, it always accomplishes its purpose.
  • He has set watchmen around us to guard us day and night.
  • He loves justice.
And all of that is JUST IN ISAIAH! Imagine what the rest of His word promises us!

I have been witness to and lived out the power of God, and the power of His word. So, I'm not going to get stuck crying under my covers or caught frightening police officers with my tears. Rather, I am going to be claiming the word of the Lord over our adoption journey and over each and every one of your adoption journeys as well. There is not a weapon the enemy can try against any of us that will prevail. He can just give up now, 'cuz all of us are bringin' our babies home!


  1. Does your NBC officer happen to have the initials KG? If so, let me just say I feel your pain completely.

    Did you have to file and pay for a Supplement 3 with your addendum?

  2. Praying for you. When we started, we read that adoption was not for the "faint of heart." I laughed and said how can it be so hard. I now understand. We've had lots of delays along the way also. We leave for trip 1 in 2 days. We will pray for you guys! We've enjoyed your blog and look forward to a post with a court date for you. It will come, just not as soon as you want. Hang in there.

  3. Lori, you always encourage me and lift me up during YOUR struggles! Thanks so much for your kind words...and I've been where you are! Praying all goes smoothly from here on out!

  4. Thanks Lori for the reminder in God's word. I have a quick question for you. I think it was you who mentioned making a book for your child in Bulgaria and it was a cardboard/children's type book of your families pictures. If this was you could you let me know where you found this to make a photo book? Thanks. I will be praying for you that God will speed these things up so you get a court date soon. I have seen another family have delays and they still had their court date and pick up date within 4 months.

  5. What great lessons from Isaiah. Let God fight our battles and go before us. Prayerfully and hopefully, as one thing seems to slow the process down, maybe God allows something else to move quickly. But above all, it's all in God's timing. Hang in there!

  6. Thanks so much for all your kind words and prayers!

    Viviane - not KG, but maybe they are friends! We DID have to pay the extra for the Supplement 3 and now do our extension anyone 'cuz it expires in December...

    Heather - my prayers are with you for an absolutely blessed trip!

    Renea - You are such a dear! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

    Celeste - We DID make the board book! Selah LOVED it! A very sweet gal at makes them! She is a dream to work with and the end product is gorgeous and indestructible!

    Shell - Thanks so much...I like that..."prayerfully and hopefully" :-)

    Question to y' there a way to respond beneath each comment? I can't seem to figure it out!! Help!

  7. Lori, thanks again for your encouragement and reminding me of the words of Isaiah. I especially liked your comment about how Satan works overtime trying to destroy good things, especially adoptions and marriages. And, I agree about people walking away or not taking the journey because of the attacks of our enemy. Even in the midst of the journey, I think that he tries to use our fear and uncertainty against us, but we must remember who is really in control - our God. I will pray that the rest of your journey will go smoothly and that you will see your daughter again soon.