It's a New Day!

Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.

Ecclesiastes 11:7

Last week was the pits...nothing seemed to go right. Our NBC paperwork STILL had not approved, I woke up (on my birthday of all days) with a double ear infection, my son decided that on the day of my birthday and double ear infection he would have one of the WORST behavior days EVER, and then he ended up home sick the day after that!!! By now I should know that whenever my boys act particularly naughty, they are usually coming down with something!!! The week ended on Friday with one more request from our NBC officer for just one more document. Really? All I could do was cry.

This week, however, began "a new day dawning"! Bryan started our Monday morning with an attempt at 6:00 a.m. (4:00 p.m. in Bulgaria) to call Selah. We had been consistently trying to Skype, but we could never make a connection with the orphanage, so now we just try to call using Skype Calling (which is waaaaaay cheaper than regular phone) to their land line. My sweet husband now makes these call attempts on his own in order to protect my heart. After a few attempts that ended either with no answer, or a disconnected line, or being told in Bulgarian "Ne, Selah" (no Selah was all I could understand since my Bulgarian is almost non-existent), my heart would become so fragile and what felt like one more rejection. Now chooses to protect my heart (he handles the let-downs soooooo much better than I do) and makes the communication attempts. If he is successful, he then yells frantically for me to wake up and come downstairs to the computer!!! (I know...I am extremely blessed to have him)

So, Monday morning the call went through and then to Bryan's surprise, the director video called us back! Bryan was so excited he just started yelling for me in a crazy sort of frantic way that made me think something horrible had happened! I run downstairs in my pj's with my hair crazy wild and there on the screen is our sweet little girl! She was smiling and beautiful! I'm sure she would agree with the smiling part on her assessment of me, but the beautiful part surely she would not! She probably thought, "Wow, Mommy looks a little crazy!".

We still had one little glitch, though. We could not hear her nor the director, we instead heard a Bulgarian radio station of some sort! We still can't figure that out! Anyone have any ideas? But, she could hear us and that, to me, is so much more important. I want her to remember our voices and see our faces and recall the memories we made together so that she knows in her heart that we truly will come back and that we have not forgotten her. And let me tell you...memory? Hers was uncanny! I started singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and she immediately started doing the actions with me and I could see her mouth moving to sing with me! Then Bryan made his funny fish face at her that she had loved so much, and without missing even a single beat, she made the face right back at him and started giggling! I cannot even tell you how much that brought peace to my heart. It was as if God made this happen just when He knew my heart was at a breaking point....God is so good!

You would think that was enough good news...but, yes, I have MORE!!! Later that afternoon, we finally got our NBC approval! Thank You, Lord!!! It was such a weight off our shoulders to know that after so many delays, we had finally made it past that phase. Sadly, it didn't happen quick enough to get us back to Selah before Christmas (short of a miracle from God - which I do believe He is still in the business of doing!), but it still means that we are one step closer to bringing our baby home!

So, all in all? THAT is what I call "a new day" and I am so very thankful for that very needed gift from Above! Can I get an "Amen"?!! :-)

Keeping My Eyes on the Lord

Emotions. Emotions. And MORE emotions.

This wait is so stinkin' hard. There are days I want to curl up under the covers and cry...and days I want to therapeutically shop until I drop. There are also the days when I want to scream at someone...anyone will do. The other night I was driving up north in a mountainous region and had one bad mishap that involved a flat tire and then not 10 miles after finally getting back on the road, a police officer pulled me over! I guess I had been going a little too fast, but he never even got the opportunity to tell me how fast I was going! That was because I burst into voracious tears immediately and could say nothing more than to squeak out that it had been a horrible week. It was seriously ALL I COULD DO to not tell this poor man about our little girl waiting for us halfway around the world and our paperwork being majorly delayed! Can you just imagine him thinking "oh, boy, what have I just gotten myself into?'. Can you believe that in the midst of this chaos, God sent me this kind and compassionate officer who only looked at me for a second and then felt compelled to spend the rest of his time trying to calm me down and reassure me that he wouldn't be giving me a ticket?!!! Soooooo,  in the midst of each of my chaotic emotions, I keep reminding myself to keep my eyes on the Lord and claim His promises for our family.

Over the last few days, I have been reading Isaiah and God has spoken to me so clearly from there and has gently reminded me where to keep my focus. You see, we have not yet received our NBC approval. The short story is that it began with our original home study parameters saying we wanted to adopt a child between the ages of 0 and 3. Well, our Selah is 4. So, the officer handling our paperwork said we had to submit an addendum from our social worker stating that we are approved for a 4-year-old child. We took care of that and I fed-exed everything there only to have it sit in the Texas office for 2 1/2 weeks before it was sent to our officer in Missouri. THEN, our officer decided that the addendum was not sufficient, but that we needed to have a home visit AND our state CPS checks redone. We are hoping for this to all be in the hands of the officer next week and then I pray approved immediately.

I just couldn't believe that we would have all these issues on this side of the paperwork. I expected glitches...but later, once the paperwork was in Bulgaria. Maybe now that we have already provided brand new copies of practically everything, all the other various offices, people, and judges that will be looking at our paperwork will not find anything to question or request. Maybe? Hopefully?

So, back to Isaiah. In Isaiah 54, God tells me that "No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper". Satan loves to mess with all things that are good. I recently read that marriage and adoption are the two most powerful covenants we make to honor God. Because these two covenants are so powerful, Satan works overtime to try to destroy them. As we travel along this journey of adoption, we all know how gut-wrenchingly painful things can be. I wonder how many people have either not taken the journey or have walked away from it because of the attacks of our enemy. 

But God. Our amazing, powerful, loving, and ever faithful God! He tells us that

• He will not allow any weapons from the enemy to prosper against us.
• He will open doors before us, so that gates will not be shut.
• He will go before us and level the mountains
• He will contend with them who contend  with us, and He will give safety to our children and ease them.
• He will go before us and also be our rear guard.
• His word never returns void, it always accomplishes its purpose.
• He has set watchmen around us to guard us day and night.
• He loves justice.

And all of that is JUST IN ISAIAH! Imagine what the rest of His word promises us!

I have been witness to and lived out the power of God, and the power of His word. So, I'm not going to get stuck crying under my covers or caught frightening police officers with my tears. Rather, I am going to be claiming the word of the Lord over our adoption journey and over each and every one of your adoption journeys as well. There is not a weapon the enemy can try against any of us that will prevail. He can just give up now, 'cuz all of us are bringin' our babies home!

Biometrics

We have completed our “biometrics” (digital fingerprints) that are a part of the NBC approval! It sounds so official and we have waited so long for our “appointment” but it honestly was one of the quickest processes of this adoption! We were in and out in less than 15 minutes! Praise God!

But I do have to give a brief, but sweet mention to the security guard at the front who in a very gruff way made sure to announce to me that I best not have a cell phone in my purse, and that it MUST be left in the car. My first impression was that he was quite intimidating…but as we reentered the building and he saw my 4-year-old and his best little friend in the world, Kourtny, tag along behind me, his eyes lit up with joy. It was so absolutely adorable. He just couldn’t stop laughing and smiling at our two little cuties!

Now? Now we are just waiting for our approval letter and for the confirmation that our dossier has finished translation. Both of these things should happen at approximately the same time. Then….then we just WAIT for what feels like could be close to forever!

Galatians 5:2-232 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Please come, Holy Spirit, and fill me with the patience I know will only come from You!

Moving Along

After only 10 days of waiting we received a letter saying that our NBC application was received. I was happy about the quick turnover time :-) Then three days later we received an appointment time to get our biometrics (fingerprints) taken. The fingerprint date is September 16th at 1:00 p.m. which is a really great time because Bryan can work it around a late lunch and not have to take too much extra time off from work!

I am so very thankful for the smooth processes that have taken place and I thank each of you out there who have been praying for paperwork to pass along quickly and in the hands of capable and caring individuals! Prayer really does work :-) Please keep praying that our little Selah comes home as quickly as possible and that she knows in her heart that we are coming for her just as soon as we can!!

The Lord replied, “Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it. Habakkuk 1:5

Our Paperwork is Almost Done!

Well, the NBC (National Benefits Center) application has been filed, and all other documents needed for the dossier have been notarized, apostilled, and mailed off to All God’s Children so that they can begin the process of translating all the documents into the Bulgarian language. That means that we are almost finished with our paperwork! Now, we will wait for our NBC approval which can take 2-3 months. When we get that, hopefully the translating process will be finished and then we can be registered with the Bulgarian Minister of Justice. Please pray for favor in the approval and translating processes so that we can get one step closer to bringing our Selah home. I don’t want her to spend even a second more than absolutely necessary in any situation where she does not have the love of her very own forever family…the kind of love that I so wish every child in this world had.

I find myself amazed at how God knew before time began that our family would someday adopt…How He knew that He would place that desire deep within our souls. And here we are now having been given the privilege of realizing His grand plan…of feeling that ache in our hearts. As we take each step, I realize that plan even more. Each time I complete something, learn something, or as time simply passes, I find that new feelings erupt and an even stronger emotion and awareness occurs within me. I think how incredibly amazing it is that God knew I would feel this way…even when I never ever imagined the way I would feel!

Even though it could be another year until we get to cuddle and hold Selah in our arms, she is already a part of our family. We think of her all the time and can’t help but talk about her constantly! Zachary and Landon talk to others and write about their sister as if they already know and love her. Our little Zachary closes his prayer EVERY night with “Lord, please take care of Selah and tell her we love her. Let her mommy love her as best she can and don’t let Selah be hurt. Please just let her mommy love her and just not be able to afford her.” Every night he says this, my heart splits in two. It cries out to God repeating my son’s words and asking that He protect her and let her feel the love of a birth mother. But it also aches for the mother that has to surrender her child because she cannot care for her; A Mother that loves her child to a point of surrendering her…surrendering her to the faith that her child will live a better life apart from her. And then?...then I am left firmly standing in faith that God’s Word is Truth and that His Truth says He will make all things good and that from even a tragedy and injustice such as this… He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, and festive praise instead of despair. (Isaiah 61:3)