What Happens When You Surrender

I left you with my last post at a point where I had finally realized I needed to surrender myself and all my desires and needs to God...I realized that I needed to be extremely honest and "real" with Him so that I could lay down what I wanted and let God work.

So...what happened? At first, just an incredible sense of peace that gave me the strength and the conviction to know that even if this adoption journey took me 5 years, I was ready to be on the journey. It was a sense of peace that allowed me to truly give this little girl back to God. I was no longer saying it with words that didn't connect to my heart...the peace was proof that my heart, mind, and soul were all in alignment. I had decided that there was a reason....maybe I was just meant to intercede on her behalf in prayer throughout her life and I could thank God for that incredible privelege that would let me be a part of her life forever, even if she didn't know it or ever know me.

So about a week passed and I happened to remember that I had not ever checked out an adoption chat group that I had signed up for before any of this had ever begun. I opened my account and saw over 600 emails! Yikes! SO....I deleted many and then just started reading some interesting threads. After a few days of reading I noticed one person who would just make the most positive posts that were just so encouraging to my heart. They were a voice of reason within a sometimes sea of frustration! After following this person's story I decided to send her an email to say thank you for the encouragement, positive comments, and voice of reason. That email began email communication between us and eventually she connected me to someone else she thought I would connect with.

Well.....from here the story becomes even more miraculous and I wish I could share it all, but I don't want to possibly say too much due to regulations. But God (isn't that always the case...but GOD!! ) made one thing transpire into another and before I knew it, the knowledge that this little girl that we had so fallen in love with in January, was once again available!!! Our caseworker and agency had no idea and they were just as stunned as I was. At first, I couldn't believe it was true. I kept thinking it had to be another little girl with the same name or something!! But no....it was her! Our family was in a state of shock but in complete agreement that we would re-apply immediately!

Ooooo, after we have her home, I will share more, but if you could only know how powerfully I felt the Holy Spirit...in my prayer time as I sought His guidance....in worship at Church when I felt His comfort. I have never in my life felt Him so near to me as I have felt Him in the last 2 1/2 monthsand the unfolding of these events....It is so awesome...I just want the world to feel what I have felt :-)

We applied again and waited almost three weeks and got our approval! Our caseworker called when I was on the way home from school with the boys and I was crying and laughing and the boys were absolutely screaming with joy!!!! Our sweet caseworker joined right in with us and was just so happy for all of us!!! It was truly one of my life's greatest moments!

Now we are doing paperwork and waiting for our travel dates...hopefully it will be soon :-)

I'll leave you with this verse from the book of Ezra. It was an evening I was desperately seeking guidance from Him and I asked Him to direct me to the book and the verse He desired me to hear....and this is it:

Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river Ahava, that we might humble ourselves beofre our God to seek from Him a straight and right way for us, our little ones, and all our possessions. Ezra 8:21

And verse 23 showed me just how true His promises are in the here and now:

So we fasted and besought our God for this,

and He heard our entreaty.